TEXAS—President Trump toured the migrant holding facilities for unaccompanied minors, stopping at one in Texas to tell the press all about his cost-saving measures. “We’re serving kids thin gruel,” he proclaimed as he pointed to a vat of the substance in the facility’s cafeteria, “the thinnest. It’s practically water. You’d get more nutrition from a bottle of Aquafina.” Trump then explained how the money saved on feeding children would free up the budget for purchasing drones in case Iran shot down more.
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via The Babylon Bee